Every year at our family Christmas party, someone gets a fuckin’ fart toy. I don’t care if you are starving Somalian, you’ll laugh when you get a toy that just farts.
Screw Fabrage Eggs, the Hope Diamond and mosaic bottles of lamp oil, fart toys are the way to go.
When I visit preschools and dress up as Santa, I have the kids pull my finger and then I pull a fart toy out of my bag.
“WTF is this Santa? I wanted a video game!”
Then with the twitch of my nose, I let out another fart and I’m on my way.
Fart toys are family tradition in our family. Do you have flatulent traditions? I know there is an Aunt in your family that let’s them rip.
Men usually just let it go, but in my lifetime I know that women fart. They just hide it. Here are some of the ways that women hide the fact that they just let out a poofy-poofy.
courtesy flush - At the time of the loud flush they let it go. The flush drowns out the noise. (This may not be healthy if you are sitting on the can. The water can splash up on your ass.
Slamming the car door - Ah yes, you must time this perfectly. As the door hits the lock, you unlock that ass and fart.
Farting during fireworks - You little stinker. I thought it was the smoke from the fireworks that made it smell.
Shower Farting - This is easy. Nobody is around, the shower is running, and you let it all out.
Turn up the music I love this song - Everybody knows that you hate Vanilla Ice. Just admit that the loud music is covering up your loud ass.
Splashing in the swimming pool - You don’t want anyone to see the bubbles coming from your butt, so you swish the water around while you plan a sneaky stinky
The “two cheek sneak” - You let out a little bit of gas at a time so you can get rid of it.
If you can think of any more way that women hide the fact that they are farting, please leave a comment below.
Smelly gas may indicate that you have to poop soon. So before you leave the house, make sure you sit on the can and get it all out. I really don’t want to enter an elevator that you just exited. You know you fart in elevators just before the door opens. Then some poor people are traped in your cloud for 36 floors without ventilation.
It’s the Lil Stinker Farting Bear.
The Lil Stinker Farting Bear is a 12″ Remote controlled farting bear & it’s definitely a gas! Sit him on the couch and suprise guests from across the room by pushing the remote control. Cheeks light up in embarrassment after the GAStly deed!
A fart is a BUNCH of gases (nitrogen, carbon dioxide, oxygen, methane, and hydrogen sulfide) that travels from a person’s stomach to their butt. When a person swallows a lot of air or eats foods that the digestive system can’t digest easily gas becomes trapped in his/her stomach. The only way for this excess gas to exit the body is through the butt. -Welcome to Fart-Fun.Com. The site dedicated to the funniest of all bodily functions…THE FART
Fart ringtones have taken over cell phones across the world. But not all fart tone or ring tones were created alike. Here are some popular fart ringtones or fart tones.
Slow Fart
Fart Series - Nasty
Now for sweets. If you want to really make someone fart as a joke, get them a Fart Lollipop.
Ah yes. Give them something sweet to eat and watch them fart away. Get it while it’s hot. It’s only 99 cents and it’s cheaper than a head of cabbage.
Whoever denied it supplied it! This 6-sound farting key chain is sure to disrupt and disgust while providing a good laugh at the same time. Be the Fart Master. Keep your fart sounds close to you with the Fart Master Key Chain.
You’ll love and laugh with the sounds of some great fart fun. This is a great fart toy that one cannot live without, well not really
Flatulent fun with your CD player! sound-sational game of rip-roaring fun that will challenge even your straight-laced Aunt to keep from cracking up! An instant source of laughter, Fart is the hillarious game where you race to be the first to discard all your cards, while being serenaded by the fast ‘n’ frantic Fart chorus. Every now & then an unrealistically enormous explosion will let rip, forcing you to change direction, pick up penalty cards, or “Pass the Wind” to your opponent.
Ever pull on someone's finger and hear a weird noise come out of his or her rear-end?
Ever sit in a tub of water and see bubbles appear after a rumbling in your stomach?
This strange noise and vibrating sensation that came from your butt is most likely caused by a fart.
A fart is a BUNCH of gases (nitrogen, carbon dioxide, oxygen, methane, and hydrogen sulfide) that travels from a person's stomach to their butt. When a person swallows a lot of air or eats foods that the digestive system can't digest easily gas becomes trapped in his/her stomach. The only way for this excess gas to exit the body is through the butt.
-Welcome to Fart-Fun.Com. The site dedicated to the funniest of all bodily functions...THE FART
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